


All I want is nothing more

by thousand_thoughts



Series: Dreamnotfound related oneshots [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Feelings, Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Real names used
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:46:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26711665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thousand_thoughts/pseuds/thousand_thoughts
Summary: “George,” Green eyes were staring directly into his and George started to get nervous, he didn’t know what Clay wanted. His voice wasn’t demanding anymore, now it was more of a soft plea.“Yeah?”Clay dropped back down on the couch, one leg folded on the soft cushions and the other placed on the floor. He grabbed George’s hands and turned them slowly, looking at the small lines in his palms.“Why don’t you say it back?”
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Dreamnotfound related oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943911
Comments: 14
Kudos: 749





	All I want is nothing more

**Author's Note:**

> George just tell me you love me, it will make me sleep so much better.

_ It hangs over him like an invisible rain cloud, following his every move. Sometimes the cloud becomes smaller and the sun can shine through. Sometimes it consumes him and blocks the view of the outside world with heavy walls of rain. It’s something that shouldn’t bother him as much as it does, it’s just a little rain. But he should know better. Water is one of the strongest elements on this planet. He has seen how it eats away at rocks over the years, how the rivers slither and move from the never ending stream. Water could be soft and warm, but not now.  _

_ The weather changed a few weeks into his new relationship. It had started off being sunny, with morning dew in the grass. The world had given him a moment to forget about rain, hail and thunder. It had given him a moment of bliss without a chance to look at the forecast. But like all things, it changed. The sun went to bed earlier and earlier with each night that came and was replaced with a cloud. At first, the rain that came had scared him, he knew that it wasn’t right. But somewhere along the way he accepted it, just letting it be.  _

_ He had many times tried to find the source of the cloud. It must have blown in from somewhere right? After countless nights spent wondering and looking for the one thing that caused this rain, he found it. It was not from south or from north. Neither west or east. His rain cloud had stemmed from something much closer. More precisely… George.  _

_ When he first realized, it made him angry. But not at his boyfriend. He doesn’t think that’s possible, not with that smile of his. No he was angry at himself for not realizing sooner. Because if a relationship was to last, both parties had to understand each other and communicate. And he wanted this to last, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this man. He loved George, he really did. Love…  _

**_All I want is nothing more_ **

_ It was a Tuesday evening that he realized what it was. He had been seated on the rug in the living room with Patches in his lap. Her fuzzy paws swatting at the toy rat he dangled above her head. She gave the rat a last punch and turned her attention to the hallway, waiting. Soon, George appeared in the doorway, jacket halfway on his torso. He smiled and moved the feline off of his lap and stood up. Leaning down he pressed a small kiss to the others lips and hummed.  _

_ “Where are you going?” It wasn’t accusatory, just a soft question. He got his answer when George held up a grocery list and gave him a look that said “To get this, you idiot”. He watched as George unceremoniously tied his shoes and pushed the door open, Clay had to scoop up Patches to prevent her from running outside.  _

_ “Get back soon, I love you” He raised his voice so that he was sure that George could still hear him.  _

_ “I will!” Was the answer he got from the outside and the door clicked shut. He didn’t say it back.  _

_ He supposed that it shouldn’t bother him as much as it did, it never had before.  _

_ The thought stays in his mind, it starts to gnaw and bite at him. Not enough to hurt but it’s an ever present reminder of something out of reach. It doesn’t hurt that George won’t say it back. He knows that he loves George and George loves him back but it would be nice to hear it, sometime. He tries to pry it out of him, bribe him and do favors in exchange for those sweet words. He’s unsuccessful.  _

**_To hear you knocking at my door_ **

_ George may not be the one that takes up space, but he observes the ones that do. He studies their behavior and dissects their personalities and groups them together. It’s something that he does unconsciously at times. It’s not often that he enjoys this little quirk of his, but he’s learned to love it more now that he’s got something beautiful to look at.  _

_ His favorite thing is when their sleeping schedules return to what people would consider normal. When this happens, he wakes up right before the sunrise and goes to the living room. He knows that Clay would be quick to notice his body being gone and would wake up. So he waits for a bit, curls himself up on the sofa and watches the world be reborn outside of their window. It’s 15 minutes max before he can hear the soft sleepy footsteps of his boyfriend down the hallway. _

_ Clay would look around while rubbing his eyes, his messy hair would stick up in odd places and be illuminated by the morning sun. He’d walk into the kitchen and get himself two glasses of juice, one orange, one apple. Soft lines of muscles flexing with every movement and small hums reached him. He wish he could picture those moments forever. Where dust danced in the sun rays and the world was warm.  _

_ But as an observant person came the downsides. The reason that he disliked seeing everything, was that he saw too much. He saw what people really meant behind the lies, he noticed their body language changing and he knew when they wanted to push him away. If someone was mad at him, he knew. He knew without them even knowing sometimes, so when Clay changed, he got scared.  _

_ He knew exactly when it started.  _

_ George had returned home from a quick trip to the convenience store, they had run out of juice and butter. When he left, he thought everything was as normal, on his way home he already had a feeling of uneasiness. The change was sudden, he had to admit, but it was noticeable to say the least. He caught Clay on his way back to their room with a glass in his hand. They exchanged a few words and laughs.  _

_ Clay’s shoulders didn’t shake like they used to, they were still.  _

_ George didn’t get a kiss.  _

_ And Clay didn’t ask him what he was planning to do.  _

_ Three things that he was used to experiencing that he now lacked due to some unknown factor. For the moment he convinced himself that his boyfriend just felt off, perhaps a cold. He hoped.  _

  
  


_ But after a while, weird things started to happen. What George interpreted as anger or annoyance from Clay had morphed into… extreme display of affection. And by extreme, he means extreme. Clay would make him breakfast, he would edit videos for him, buy him new clothes, a new headset, he took both of them to the cinema. To an outsider, this may just sound sweet, and it was. But it all happened within the span of five days. It had made him confused but happy, he didn’t know why this had started to happen but he felt like something was off.  _

_ Patches fluffy paws pawed at his arms where she laid in his lap, her belly being scratched by soft hands. It was a cloudy afternoon in Orlando and it seemed like everyone had accumulated in the living room for some unofficial family time.  _

_ “Hey George, look at this,” He slowly moved the cat off himself and migrated to the couch, he sat down and leaned his head on Clay’s shoulder to look at the other’s phone. On the screen was a pencil drawing of him and Clay, the artist had drawn in a semi-realistic style and Clay had no mask. He shot a quick glance at the man next to him and then back again, the artist was scarily close to what Clay actually looked like.  _

_ “Whoa that’s like actually you” He said, his voice trailing off at the end. Clay nodded and tapped out of the picture after liking it. The screen went black and the blonde stood up, a few cracks could make themselves clear as he stretched.  _

_ “I’m gonna start making dinner, suggestions?” George shook his head and looked up at Clay, he didn’t have to wait long for the kiss he was expecting. It was short and sweet, just a casual kiss.  _

_ Clay moved back an inch and whispered a “I love you” against his lips, George smiled and giggled before pressing another small kiss to soft lips with a hum. Strong hands moved up to brush against his jaw, they cupped his cheeks and Clay opened his eyes to stare into brown pools of joy.  _

_ “I. Love. You” He said again, this time with more seriousness. George calmed down and relaxed at the deeper tone of voice. It wasn’t rare for Clay to tell him how much he loved him, even before their relationship began he got to hear it weekly. Though weekly had turned into daily after his rather sudden confession.  _

_ “Yeah I know-”  _

_ “George,” Green eyes were staring directly into his and George started to get nervous, he didn’t know what Clay wanted. His voice wasn’t demanding anymore, now it was more of a soft plea.  _

_ “Yeah?”  _

_ Clay dropped back down on the couch, one leg folded on the soft cushions and the other placed on the floor. He grabbed George’s hands and turned them slowly, looking at the small lines in his palms.  _

_ “Why don’t you say it back?” _

_George was dumbfounded. He had expected for a long time that the odd feeling he had would reveal itself to be observed more clearly. Nothing can stay hidden under the cloak_ _of lies after all. But this was not the subject he had awaited to be confronted with._

_ If he was being totally clear with himself, he knew that he was bad at it. The  _ _ it _ _ being showing verbal confirmations of love towards someone of value to him. He never really felt guilty about it since he showed love in different ways, whether it be company or special outings together, he somehow expressed that he appreciated someone. But he did more than just appreciate Clay. It could have been excused when they were just friends a couple of months back, then he had no reason to say those three words. The few times he said it had been forced and he was under peer pressure.  _

_ He remembered the stream after MCC. How the viewers had made him do an ultimatum with Clay, a face reveal to George in exchange for an I love you. It had taken them 40 minutes of bickering and trying to cheat the system but eventually he had said it. The words had felt weird and stale in his mouth and he had to force himself to say them. He didn’t know why he felt so weird saying it. Nothing about it was wrong, he knew that, but his mouth just never wanted to form those words.  _

_ “I… I don’t know” And to be frank, he didn’t know. Nothing in his brain could tell him why his mouth felt dry whenever he wanted to say it.  _

_ Clay seemed to deflate, his shoulder sagged and he stopped playing with George’s hands. Panic instantly settled in his thoughts.  _

_ “It’s not that I don’t want to! I really do, I just can’t seem to say it. It’s like someone has stuffed a pillow in my mouth and my chest hurts and I just can’t,” He was quick to say, a solemn “Sorry…” followed afterwards.  _

_ A pair of hands came to cup his cheeks and directed his eyes upwards, soft jade looked at him with understanding. George could feel his face heat up and the familiar burn made itself present behind his eyes. A gentle thumb wiped away the lone tear that started its journey down his face. Clay leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead, he sat back and smiled gently.  _

_ “It’s okay George, you don’t have to say it as much as I do. I just want to hear it sometimes” _

  
  


**_Cause if I could see your face once more_ **

  
  


_ “I- I love…” _

_ “ _ **_I_ ** _ love yo- fuck” _

_ “I love you” _

_ Fuck this.  _

_ “I love you Clay”  _

_ His reflection stared back at him in the bathroom mirror, he looked like a teenage boy practicing asking his crush out for prom. He sighed and slammed the door behind him on his way out.  _

  
  


**_I could die a happy man I’m sure_ **

_ It’s Halloween and they’re doing a special live stream on the SMP. Clay is holding a game show with pumpkin and ghost themes, it’s actually just a big excuse to spoil his friends with money but no one has to know that. It seems like a lot more people are free than expected since it’s Halloween after all, the tab list is especially long tonight.  _

_ George shifts in his seat and takes off sprinting up the wooden pathway to where the big pumpkin dome was located. Clay had asked him to go get the in game price, half a stack of netherite ingots. He watched as Tubbo ran around the seats throwing the precious metal around him, clearly enjoying his win.  _

_ “Alright thank you guys for coming to tonight's Halloween game show! I love you all, bye!” Clay had muted himself on discord but George could hear him through the walls, he stayed in call with the competitors for a while before ultimately saying goodbye and happy Halloween.  _

_ He smacked Clay’s character before logging out and turning off his PC, the darkness only broken by the small sliver of evening sunlight that seeped its way into his room. It felt… weird. His first year in the US had gone by so fast and he couldn’t remember living with his parents anymore. It had been scary moving here and it had been a rough start to their relationship but he got through it with Clay. He owed a lot to that man, he wondered if he would ever make it up to him. Probably not, but he could try.  _

_ With a huff he swirled his chair around and stood up, his mind set on the office next door. He knew that Clay was still on a call with some of their friends but they all knew each other and he wouldn’t disturb their secret. Slowly he pushed the door open, his boyfriend was talking rapidly with whoever listened. It seemed that his presence was noticed since he turned around in his chair and gave George the biggest smile. He opened his arms, an invitation for the older to come closer.  _

_ George let himself settle in Clay’s lap, his legs hanging off one side and his face buried in the others neck. Clay returned to running around in the game and talking to what he had figured out was Bad. He didn’t know why but he felt his heart speed up, like it knew something he didn’t. For the moment he tried to focus on the sound that slipped out of the headphones above him and how Clay’s voice vibrated in his chest. It worked for the moment, until his brain decided that now was it.  _

_ Carefully he moved the headphones so that only one of his ears could hear whatever Bad was saying. The blonde looked down at him with a raised eyebrow but returned his focus to the screen. George took a deep breath and leaned closer.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I love you” He whispered and pressed a kiss to Clay’s jaw.  _

_ He could feel the man beneath him chuckle quiet enough for his mic to not pick it up. Clay returned the kiss and whispered back.  _

_ “Thank you” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
